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Dear Claire,
I've been finding it increasingly difficult to deal with work. It's nothing major, just little things that make me feel a bit left out, like I can't take the pace anymore. For one thing, people mumble and talk so quickly these days that I sometimes find it hard to understand, and I constantly feel I am lagging behind in meetings and conversations.
As a result of all this, I am beginning to feel very isolated in the office and I am actually considering taking early retirement. I have asked a colleague, and she thinks that I could be losing my hearing. I don't know if she's right, but if she is, I suppose that's all the more reason to retire.
What should I do? I don't really want to leave my job, but I don't see that there's any other choice.
Dennis Williams, age 54
Manchester
Dear Dennis,
I think you realise your colleague is probably right; you do have some hearing loss. This is a very common problem and you are not alone. I have it too!
All over the country, people over the age of 50 are gradually losing their hearing. The loss is due to a natural progression, like going grey, and is certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
And your suggested solution of retiring from work and life in general is totally unnecessary! If you do have a serious degree of hearing loss, then this can be corrected with a digital hearing aid. These are available free on the NHS and can provide a life-changing boost to your confidence. You may find that the office is a less threatening place if you get yourself checked and fitted, so don't give in your notice just yet!
The immediate remedy is simple; take the free RNID telephone hearing test on 0845 600 55 55. If, as I suspect, you are experiencing hearing loss, you may need a hearing aid. If you do, wear it with pride because you will find your life improving, relationships rejuvenated and your workplace friendlier.
Yours, Claire
Dear Claire,
After over 30 years of marriage the only way my wife can communicate with me is by shouting. She shouts at me for having the TV on too loud, she shouts at me for refusing to answer the phone, she shouts at me for not taking any notice of her. I am really doing my best to keep her happy, but nothing I do seems to make any difference.
Although I tell her she talks too quietly, or that the TV is at the right volume, I am beginning to think that maybe there is something wrong with my hearing. I suppose it's obvious really, isn't it? I'm worried about that, but I'm worried about my marriage too. What do you suggest?
Fred Barnes, age 62
Newcastle upon Tyne
Dear Fred,
Your situation is a very common one and it seems your wife is just as distressed as you are about your communication problems. I suspect these difficulties can be easily addressed because you are right. You are probably having some loss of hearing.
By the time we get to our 60s many of us - me included - find ourselves in the same situation. It's a part of nature and nothing to be over-concerned about. The problems arise, as you have described, when people refuse to recognise their hearing loss and allow frustrations to mount up.
There is now a free hearing test that you can take over the telephone to find out if you have lost more of your hearing than you think. Once you start dealing with these problems head on, I think you’ll find your communications problems at home will disappear.
Yours, Claire
Dear Claire,
I think my mother might be losing her hearing. She never seems to understand me on the phone anymore, and whenever I go round to visit her, she has the radio turned up so loud that I can hardly speak to her. I've tried suggesting that she should have her hearing checked but she just tells me that it's other people who are mumbling and not to make a fuss. She then goes all quiet and changes the subject.
I'm worried about the practical implications of this as much as anything else because she lives on her own. All her friends seem to be drifting away because she struggles to hold lengthy conversations and can't hear when there is a crowd. Even worse, her relationship with her beloved grandchildren is suffering because, as they keep telling me, "Gran never talks to us anymore."
Any ideas on what to do? She can be very stubborn.
Joanne, age 37
Perthshire
Dear Joanne,
I get so many letters from people like you, whose friends and family are losing their hearing but don't want to admit it. The truth is, your mum is probably a bit scared, as we all would be at the prospect of admitting that something is happening which may affect our whole life and which we fear we may have no control over.
But she can have control. The latest digital hearing technology is very comfortable and easy to wear, as I well know, because I have been deaf for many years and my aids have improved my hearing enormously. They can do the same for your mother and enable her to carry on with her everyday life just as she always has, only better!
The best way to convince your mum to test her hearing is to approach the issue in a very low-key way - don't sermonise or lecture her. By taking RNID's telephone test on 0845 600 55 55, she can have a very personal check-up in her own home with perfect privacy. Or, if she has a computer, she can visit http://www.breakingthesoundbarrier.com/ where she can print off first-hand stories about people just like her, who finally plucked up the courage to seek help for their hearing loss and are now reaping the rewards.
Yours, Claire
